Lately I’ve been working on the handout, 7 ways to express yourself with fun. It’s more important than just the fun aspect. It’s about learning to voice yourself in a way that suits you best and why.

Expressing yourself clearly 

Make it understandable with no room for doubt.

When you want to express something important, the core of the message should consist of:

• Clarity (know what you want to get across);
• Straight forward (leave out unnecessary details);
• Volume (people must be able to hear it);
• Confidence (so people can’t make you change your mind);
• From the heart (with emotion, spoken from your heart).

Clarity

Know what it is you want to get across. That sounds simpler than it can be, especially when there is not a lot of time to get your message across. The question quickly becomes how much are you going to mention and what are you leaving out? It’s best to mention as many facts as possible and let the other one decide what’s relevant and what not. Start by gathering information, so you can get an overview of all the details that might be relevant

Straight forward

When getting a message across to others, it’s important that you leave out too many emotions, especially if they are directed towards the other.

There is only so much someone can process. When there are a lot of emotions involved, clutter can start to build on both sides. First of all you might forget what it is you want to get across. Second of all, the other might not be able to hear you anymore, since the emotions and outbursts might keep them occupied. Third, both of you might no longer be able to interact with one another, due to (full blown) confusion. This is why sticking to factual information is the one thing you want to focus on.

In addition, you don’t need to share all the information that pops up in your mind. Stick to what is relevant for what you want to get across. That doesn’t mean you need to leave out things, you’re not certain about. It just means that you don’t want to talk about stuff, which is not related to the message.

Volume

This might seem surprising to some, unless you have experienced more than once, that people seem to ignore you. Even once, is one time too many. For that reason it’s important to train your voice, so you can actually use the muscles needed to speak up, even when being very emotional.

Confidence

Confidence is needed to get your message across without wavering. There is nothing wrong with expressing you might not know it all. There might always be room for improvement. This is different though from letting someone talk you out of something. 

When someone makes you doubt, take a moment to consult with yourself or with someone else, what you need again. By speaking to someone in advance of an important conversation, you know what is important to you and you can stick to this.

From the heart

There is nothing wrong with speaking up from the heart. It makes people understand how much it means to you. As long as you refrain from accusing others and this adds to your message, it’s okay. The goal is to remain calm when expressing your feeling, so there’s no confusion when you’re expressing yourself.

Expressing yourself in different ways

You can learn to express yourself with clarity, volume and confidence by grabbing every chance you can get to voice yourself. Below you can find three examples, taken from the list of seven ways to express yourself with FUN.

Music

Songs can help you to train your voice. It can also help you to feel less insecure by expressing yourself whenever you have the chance. You can express yourself in multiple ways, for instance by dancing, or playing an instrument. What you are doing at that moment is getting a message across, either to yourself and/or to others. People can pick up on emotions and what matters to you, especially when we talk about music. That makes this an excellent way to exercise expressing yourself.

Write

Writing is one of the most powerful things to get a better understanding of what it is you want to wrap your mind around. You can circle things, use colors, cross things out, repeat important things and single them out.

By paying attention to what you have written down, especially if it’s more than once, you can get a good idea about what’s holding you back. Whenever you use negative words, ask yourself why you do. What were to happen if things would be turned around?

Make sure to get into insecurities on your end, so you can change this to your advantage.

Visualize

Go over the conversation with the goal to become and remain confident. If for some reason people don’t hear you, be prepared to repeat yourself with a louder voice. You can also practice what it would be like to grab someone else’s attention in a different way.  

Whenever you experience doubt, write it down and/or talk about it. Why do you have those doubts? What’s missing? By adding, tweaking and changing your message and the way you want to get it across, you’ll get more clarity and confidence.

Make sure to keep visualizing, until you have explored all options and you are certain you can remain confident no matter what happens.

Some final words

What do you need working on and how are you going to this?

If you feel you could use some extra confidence, => get the handout “seven ways to express yourself with fun”<=, or even better get => the course “how to express yourself (with fun).”<=

 You can do it, so go do it!

Lady Lexy