Shiny Objects distract us from what really matters. It keeps us hunting for things we do not (yet) need. It makes us want to  take unrealistic jumps, leading to spending too much money. More importantly it has us  lose our focus and/or spending too much energy where it’s needed elsewhere.  

This post is part of a series dedicated to Clarity.  Every September (with the exception during the Covid years) I can be found in the US. I love traveling to the US, enjoy the people out there and feeling “at home”.Whenever I go there, I almost always attend training and I combined it with visiting friends. Whenever I come back, I am filled with ideas and the inner need for change. Since last year this leads to a Clarity Challenge. Last year was about Cleaning up stuff, cluttering the mind and surroundings. This year is about The Struggle for Clarity.

The Struggle

Shiny Objects are everywhere around us. They have a certain allure, maybe status, and there is something about them which makes us do more to obtain it than we would do for other things. It keeps us busy because we want to gather information and when it is about collecting stuff we usually want more. One could say that it appeals to an emotional part inside of us, maybe a goal and/or dream in the best case scenario. It can also be about wanting something we absolutely do not need, but just makes us feel really good. We could say that Shiny Objects cause us to be distracted from what we really need, or does it? 

FOMO

Shiny Objects usually relate to a feeling of loss. Maybe it’s something we never could have growing up or something we were never able to achieve later on in life. It appeals to FOMO, the Fear of Missing Out. For me this is related to a number of things, among which the desire to travel to the US. Over there I am at home, people understand me, since they are more like me and they have stuff over there, which I cannot get over here. Everyone knows about my immense collection of Starbucks tumblers, especially the 20” or Venti ones. We don’t have those in Europe, so instead I need to go out of the country, overseas to get them. 

The good news is that, despite my initial craving, having missed out on some and lost one traveling back home, I now have satisfied that craving. The better news is that I would never travel to the US just for the tumblers. The reality is that when I am there, I am bound to be on the hunt for those mugs, where I could spend my time more wisely. It influences my choices of where to go, what to do and more importantly where to spend my time and money one. The good news is that I also work at Starbucks locations. Even more so I found out that creating momentum and getting in the flow is something which I do way more easily when I have a latte in reaching distance.  

FOMO and even more FOMO

I can hear you think, but why not have that latte macchiato at home? Doesn’t that work just as well? The answer is no. Part of it has to do with my surroundings, which are not very inspiring and too much linked to day-to-day activities. On the other hand I have a new goal, which is also linked to Shiny Objects. I want to refill my Pokémon items as much as I can being surrounded by Pokéstops and I want to join raid with as many local people as possible. Does that mean I cannot do without them? Absolutely not. It does mean that if I have the chance I will go downtown to do my work and if cannot do so, I might be a little grumpy. 

FOMO with benefits

If we take a closer look at both the latte macchiato and the haunt for Pokémon items, we are talking about things which on the surface may not be that expensive (compared to larger goals), but if one keeps pursuing these items long enough, there is bound to be a price to pay for this. One is money. Just add all the tiny amounts and we will get a huge sum of money. If we look at the time spend to get the locations, that might be something to consider too. I am about combining things, making the most of the time I have, so I tend to go downtown when I am traveling anyway. As a matter of fact, it usually saves me time compared to driving straight back from my appointment, due to (early) rush hour. 

The Goal

If we look at bigger things, one can think about courses and training and even Master Minds. When we focus on a certain goal, we focus on the end in mind. That is a good thing, considering it usually takes time and effort (and money) to get things done. Alas, we also make investments which might not be the smartest ones. It could be because it’s too expensive at that moment to follow the desired course/training. It could be because it’s way more advanced for the level we are at. The latter is bound to be waste of money, since only a limited amount of things are picked up on.

Does that mean it is a bad thing to start with the end goal in mind? Absolutely not. It is good to be wanting and longing for it. We just need to be realistic, look at the bigger picture and create landmarks. When we become aware of what that goal entails, we can divide it into chapters. Each chapter finishes with a milestone and requires certain activities. When we know every aspect of our goal we are on the right track. 

Shiny Promises

Almost always we get asked the question: “Won’t it help you move forward faster with this as opposed without it?” The answer would most likely be “yes”. Of course we learn from playing with the big guys and of course we are more motivated if we have invested a lot of money. The question is if we can handle this big jump, with our current knowledge and not knowing if we get the right friends/ acquaintances who are going to help us move forward. More importantly, what is the consequence of spending too much money you cannot earn back (yet). 

Support

Let’s start by discussing being surrounded by people who have certain skills, the skills you need to move ahead. If those people already know what to do and they have time to work with you certain times in the week, that is amazing. Reality shows that no matter how motivated people are, there are only few willing (and capable) to take time out. This leads me to the question how many people actually capable of working with you on the level you need them to be. Viewed from the opposite side one can ask how capable you are of working with them. It is about a journey of growing together. That growth, however, is linked to energy, time, importance, urgency and willingness to do move ahead and do the work. 

Savings 

If we look at money, we need to consider if we can actually “miss” the money. Do we get ourselves and/or our family in trouble if we spend it on this course or training? If we chop it into little payments, how long will we be stuck paying and not able to invest in other things? Basically this is about knowing what we can expect and what else we need besides this investment to make the most of it. We need to know if we can earn the money back within a short amount of time. If not, then it should be something we can afford, without any future consequences. 

Bold Moves

Don’t we need to make those bold moves every once in a while? Of course it’s good when we do. But there are bold moves which are exciting and a little on edge and there are those who can bring us right down. There are bold moves with us knowing what else is expected, so we can actually make our goal come true. This means that we know what other skills we need, including investments in additional assets needed to make that goal happen. Do we? Are we that well prepared or are we going for that “gold”, without giving all else any (more) thought? 

Attraction combined with Realism

All combined we can conclude that Shiny Objects might have a huge attraction to us, but that regardless we should remain realistic. Talk to other people about the purchase you want to do and what it means to you. Allow others to ask you the questions which may be hard to listen to and answer, but will save you from disaster in the long run. 

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 Lexy