A year ago I bought this fun Halloween Lego kit. I bought it in Chicago, not knowing if it would be available in Holland upon getting back. During that year I got some other boxes, it all got stacked and at some point it was totally forgotten about by me.

Being back from the US again, I said I was going to (continue) sorting out things. A number of things have already gone to a friend’s house. I have started setting up the firehouse to conclude that I need different color stones. I haven’t found these yet, but all in all I am sorting things out and I am getting a different outlook on the stack of boxes.

Today I found that box which by now had fallen apart between all the other stuff and there was a manual how to create the pumpkin, mouse and black cat. By now the mouse is sitting on the pumpkin and I decided it was time for some other things, which is getting this blogpost out there.

Let’s dive into therapeutic shopping

If we want to take a closer look at shopping and impulse buying, we might as well call it “Therapeutic Shopping”. We do it, because it instantly feels good, if only because we really think we need it right in that moment. It’s the days (or sometimes moments) after that gratifying feeling, which cause a shortcut in the brain. At that moment we tend to conveniently forget about it and/or simply stash it away, without ever taking a second look, let alone use it. 

 “If you don’t use stuff for a certain amount of time, you (likely) won’t be using it at all.”

The Ease and the Unease of impulse shopping

How are we going to deal with impulse shopping? 

It can be really easy to buy things (even if it takes some deliberation). The problem is that it is usually very uneasy to see what you actually got and what to do with it.

Let’s take a closer look at this statement by asking ourselves some questions. 

1) Why do we buy things and next set it aside?

What follows is a random list of why this happens:

• It can be very tempting to buy something you really want. The moment it’s bought it might result in not using it. It’s too special, too expensive and/or it’s completely forgotten. It’s there. It’s safe. Nothing to worry about anymore. One could link this to FOMO (fear of missing out). The good news is that after a while you won’t be able to return it, so one can start using it after all.
• A totally different reason can be lack of attention and/of time. You want to treat yourself to something special and next other things take priority. This can be for like a week, next a month and before you know it, it’s a year later and maybe even forgotten.

2) Do we dare to return impulse buys?

If we consider impulse buys, things we usually don’t really need, we can attribute  this to FOMO and/or therapeutic shopping. Basically a combination of both. 

Question: 

Do you dare to return it, once you realize you bought something you don’t need and even worse, takes up precious time, money (!) and space.

It might seem embarrassing to return things back to the store, especially if the sales person talked you into it. 

There is a solution to this: 

1.  Talk to someone else, explain what happened and get your thoughts in order. 

•  Why did you buy it? 
•  Can you use it? 
•  Will you use it? 
•  Were other things more important which now need to be pit aside?

2.  We can use this same technique by writing things down in a notebook. Write about:

•  What we have done (for instance done an impulse buy) and why?
•  How does it make us feel? 
•  Are we happy we did and/or is there some regret? 

3) How about using it when it’s there anyway?

By writing about it, we give it the attention it deserves. We are aware of what we got and can give it a special place, so we can start using it when we are ready for it.

Doing so, you give the purchase meaning. You also tell yourself it’s okay and if you still have some doubts, they can be taken away, knowing you will use it in the end.

My (FOMO) journey in the last year

Starting with my story in mind. I have learnt to do this over the course of a year. I let myself talk into expensive purchases, only to realize that I didn’t have the space for it. Below are my solutions:

1) Making the choice to return it

This can only be done if you realize straight away that this wasn’t the best plan.

Talking to others helped me get my story right. When I returned to the store and explained it, it was all good. No embarrassment, only understanding on the other sales person’s side. 

2) Selling things online

When too much time has passed, you have to resort to other possibilities. 

If it’s still good and there’s a market for it, sell it. In my case I decided to sell a number of other things online

3) Giving things away

If things are still useful, but you don’t want to go through the trouble of selling it anymore, for instance because a box is missing, consider this:

1.  Bring it to a second hand store who sells (or donates) things for a small price, to those who otherwise cannot afford it.
2.  Check in your immediate environment who can use what you have and donate it to them. In my case there are the kids who can always use some extra lego.

Overview 

Working backwards from the present to a year ago, I am getting overview. 

By writing about the steps I have taken, I am getting clarity. 

I still need to wrap up other things as well, but I also allow myself to enjoy working on this Halloween project. I don’t have to finish it at once. Right now it served as inspiration and it resulted in this post.  

Let’s get clarity on your story.

How can you get clarity about things? 

1.  What to do:

•  Talking and writing put things out in the open. 

2.  What not to do and why:

•  Pushing it away, leads to clutter in the mind and possibly also in the space surrounding you. That is the opposite of clarity. 

3.  let’s start by writing down:

•  What have you been forgetting about?
•  What can you do to get clarity?

By writing this down and giving thought to it every day in the following week, you’ll see you’ll get more clarity because of your answers and come up with what you would like to change for the better.

Last but not least 

Can you say: “It’s time for Clarity. Let’s go do this”?! I’ll promise you, you’ll feel better once you’re seeing improvement! Just imagine what it feels like when you have got it done!

©️Lady Lexy